Feedback - THE PRACTICE OF TONGLEN

Thank you for your feedback, John.

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From: Johnfam <johnfam63@yahoo.com>

Date: Wed, 16 Mar 2011 10:53:39 +0800

To: ECGMA<eugene1chung@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: [EC Buddhism] THE PRACTICE OF TONGLEN

Eugene, the author only explain and teaches the practice in a very simplistic manner. As humans we are nothing special, we do not have that power to heal, our thoughts and meditation has not reach the ultimate that we are willing to truly take the pains sickness and suffering of others. Only a bodhisattava can do it. However in our practice of this meditation, we visualize the deity any deity that ave the ultimate qualities of compassion. Eg chenrezig (kuan yin) or for that matter Jesus Christ or mother Mary. We visualize them as having a rainbow body and we visualize ourself as them, having all the special qualities. At this stage we then start the visualization process of taking the sickness, pain etc in the form of black smoke and as we exhale the smoke changes to white and we give it to recipient whom we visualize are taking in and are comforted or cured by it.

There is another practice called the Varasattava practice , where we visualize the deity vajrasatta sitting above us with his toes directed at our crown. As we chant the 100 syllable mantra, nectar flows to the crown of our head fills our body and pushes out all impurities like black tar coming out of our toes . 

The practice is very good if done correctly. The problem is we can use our human body, but we are limited by out attachment to it.

John

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On Mar 16, 2011, at 10:21 AM, ECGMA <eugene1chung@gmail.com> wrote:

THE PRACTICE OF TONGLEN

By:
E deity have 
Y deity,
that  In order to have compassion for others, we have to have compassion for ourselves.
E to take the sufferings 
In particular, to care about other people atwho are fearful, angry, jealous, overpowered by addictions of all kinds, arrogant, proud, miserly, selfish, mean —you name it— to have compassion and to care for these people, means not to run from the pain of finding these things in ourselves. In fact, one's whole attitude toward pain can change. Instead of fending it off and hiding from it, one could open one's heart and allow oneself to feel that pain, feel it as something that will soften and purify us and make us far more loving and kind.

The tonglen practice is a method for connecting with suffering —ours and that which is all around us— everywhere we go. It is a method for overcoming fear of suffering and for dissolving the tightness of our heart. Primarily it is a method for awakening the compassion that is inherent in all of us, no matter how cruel or cold we might seem
to be.

We begin the practice by taking on the suffering of a person we know to be hurting and who we wish to help. For instance, if you know of a child who is being hurt, you breathe in the wish to take away all the pain and fear of that child. Then, as you breathe out, you send the child happiness, joy or whatever would relieve their pain. This is the core of the practice: breathing in other's pain so they can be well and have more space to relax and open, and breathing out, sending them relaxation or whatever you feel would bring them relief and happiness. However, we often cannot do this practice because we come face to face with our own fear, our own resistance, anger, or whatever our personal pain, our personal stuckness happens to be at that moment.

At that point you can change the focus and begin to do tonglen for what you are feeling and for millions of others just like you who at that very moment of time are feeling exactly the same stuckness and misery. Maybe you are able to name your pain. You recognize it clearly as terror or revulsion or anger or wanting to get revenge. So you breathe in for all the people who are caught with that same emotion and you send out relief or whatever opens up the space for yourself and all those countless others. Maybe you can't name what you're feeling. But you can feel it —a tightness in the stomach, a heavy darkness or whatever. Just contact what you are feeling and breathe in, take it in —for all of us and send out relief to all of us.

People often say that this practice goes against the grain of how we usually hold ourselves together. Truthfully, this practice does go against the grain of wanting things on our own terms, of wanting it to work out for ourselves no matter what happens to the others. The practice dissolves the armor of self-protection we've tried so hard to create around ourselves. In Buddhist language one would say that it dissolves the fixation and clinging of ego.

Tonglen reverses the usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure and, in the process, we become liberated from a very ancient prison of selfishness. We begin to feel love both for ourselves and others and also we begin to take care of ourselves and others. It awakens our compassion and it also introduces us to a far larger view of reality. It introduces us to the unlimited spaciousness that Buddhists call shunyata. By doing the practice, we begin to connect with the open dimension of our being. At first we experience this as things not being such a big deal or so solid as they seemed before.

Tonglen can be done for those who are ill, those who are dying or have just died, or for those that are in pain of any kind. It can be done either as a formal meditation practice or right on the spot at any time. For example, if you are out walking and you see someone in pain —right on the spot you can begin to breathe in their pain and send some out some relief. Or, more likely, you might see someone in pain and look away because it brings up your fear or anger; it brings up your resistance and confusion.

So on the spot you can do tonglen for all the people who are just like you, for everyone who wishes to be compassionate but instead is afraid, for everyone who wishes to be brave but instead is a coward.

Rather than beating yourself up, use your own stuckness as a stepping stone to understanding what people are up against all over the world.

Breathe in for all of us and breathe out for all of us.

Use what seems like poison as medicine. Use your personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings.

--
Posted By ECGMA to EC Buddhism at 3/16/2011 01:21:00 PM

Keeping those who suffer in our hearts

In light of this morning's 8.9-magnitude earthquake and tsunami in Japan (which struck at 2:46 local time), we again present Judy Lief's instructions for tonglen — a practice that can be of help at a time of seeming helplessness.  [And: if you want to donate to the American Red Cross's relief efforts, you can do so by clicking here.]

Tonglen Practice

Each time you practice tonglen, begin with basic mindfulness practice. It is important to take some time to let your mind settle. Having done so, you can go on to the practice of tonglen itself, which has four steps.

The first step is very brief. You could think of it as "clearing the decks." You simply allow a little pause, or gap, before you begin. Although this first step is very brief and simple, it is still important. It is like cracking the window to let in a little fresh air.

In the second step you touch in with the visceral world of feelings and emotions. Each time you breathe in, you breath in heavy, dark, hot, sticky, claustrophobic energy; and each time you breathe out, you breathe out light, refreshing, clear, cool energy. With each breath the practice shifts direction, so there is an ongoing rhythm back and forth. You are taking the habit of grasping and rejecting and you are reversing it.

The third and fourth steps take that same approach and apply it to specific topics. Start as close to home as possible, with something that actually affects you personally. You should work with a topic that arouses real feelings, something that actually touches you or feels a little raw. It does not need to be anything monumental; it could be quite ordinary. For instance, maybe someone screamed at you when you were driving to work. You could breathe in the aggression they threw at you and you could breathe out to that person a wish to free them from the pain of that anger. If you yourself have just come down with a sickness, you could breathe in that sickness, and breathe out your feeling of health and well-being. The point is to start with something that has some reality or juice in your life.

Once you are underway, it is good to let the practice develop on its own and see where it takes you. In this case, no matter what comes up in your mind, you breathe in what you do not like and you breathe out what you do, or you breathe in what is not so good and breathe out being free of that. For instance, after you breathe in that driver's aggression and breathe out your soothing of that anger, what might come up next is your own anger at being so abused first thing in the morning when you had started out in a pretty good mood. You could breathe that anger in and breathe out the ability not to take such attacks so personally. In that way your thoughts follow along naturally, revealing more and more subtle layers of grasping and rejecting.

In the fourth step you expand the practice beyond your own immediate feelings and concerns of the moment. For instance, if you are worried about your friend, you expand that concern to include all the other people now and in the past who have had similar worries. You include everybody who has suffered the pain of seeing someone they are close to in danger or trouble. You breathe in all those worries and breathe out to all those countless beings your wish that they be freed from such pain.

Tonglen practice is a radical departure from our usual way of going about things. It may seem threatening, and even crazy; but it strikes at a very core point—how we barricade ourselves from pain and lose our connection with one another. The irony is that the barricades we create do not help all that much; they just make things worse. We end up more fearful, less willing to extend ourselves, and stunted in our ability to express any true kindness. Tonglen pokes holes in those barricades that we create.

Tonglen is always about connection: making a genuine connection with ourselves and others. It is a practice that draws us out beyond our own concerns to an appreciation that no matter what we happen to be going through, others too have gone through experiences just as intense. In tonglen we are continually expanding our perspective beyond our small self-preoccupied world. The less we restrict our world, the more of it we can take in—and at the same time, we find that we also have much more to give.

TONGLEN - TAKING AND GIVING

"Without attuning body, speech and mind unto the Doctrine,
What gain is it to celebrate religious rites?
If anger be unconquered by its antidote,
What gain is it to celebrate religious rites?
Unless one meditate on loving others more than self,
What gain is it merely from the lips to say: 'O, Pity (sentient beings)"
Milarepa (From Evan Wentz 'Tibet's Great Yogi Milarepa')

INTRODUCTION

This meditation technique can be extremely powerful when practised correctly. To me, it represents the full idea of a Bodhisattva; a being who wishes to help all sentient beings, without concern for his/her own interests. It is adviseable to read the pages on Meditation Theory (chapter on Vipashyana) and Meditation Practice if you are not used to (analytical) meditation..

In case you find this meditation very difficult to do, it may well be a very positive sign! It is definitely extremely difficult to let go of our selfish attitude and deciding to give all one's own happiness and positive karma to others and take upon oneself the suffering of all sentient beings. If you do this meditation seriously, it cannot be easy - unless you are an extremely advanced practitioner. If you realise that doing this practice is too difficult when trying to focus on all sentient beings, it may be helpful to start at an easier level; instead of being surrounded by all other sentient beings, you can imagine sitting opposite yourself of a future lifetime and practice giving and taking. If that works well, try to imagine your mother, father or a good friend with whom you practise. Next, one can try to think of ones entire family, friends or neighbourhood, and so gradually expand it to include everyone, even animals and life forms we cannot even see.

This meditation works in many ways, to name but a few:
- reducing selfish attachment
- increasing a sense of renunciation
- creating positive karma by giving and helping
- developing loving-kindness and bodhicitta
- it refers to all of the 6 Perfections: giving, ethics, patience, joyous effort, concentration and wisdom.

A SAMPLE TONGLEN MEDITATION SESSION

Set yourself a time, like 15 or 30 minutes for the session, put a clock in front of yourself.
Take a couple of deep breaths to relax, check if your body is relaxed and reasonably comfortable.
Set the motivation: for example recite the refuge prayer:

I go for refuge to the Buddha,
I go for refuge to the Dharma,
I go for refuge to the Sangha. (3x)

Setting the mind towards enlightenment:

By virtue of giving and so forth,
may I become a Buddha for the benefit of all sentient beings. (3x)

The four immeasurables:

May all sentient beings have equanimity, free from attachment, aggression and prejudice.
May they be happy, and have the causes for happiness.
May they be free from suffering and causes for suffering.
May they never be separated from the happiness that is free from suffering. (3x)

The seven-limbed prayer:

Respectfully I prostrate with body, speech and mind;
I present clouds of every type of offerings, actual and imagined;
I declare all the negative actions I have done since beginningless time,
and rejoice in the merit of all Aryas and ordinary beings.
Please teacher, remain until cyclic existence ends
and turn the wheel of Dharma for all sentient beings.
I dedicate the virtues of myself and others to the great Enlightenment.

Short breathing meditation (maybe 5 minutes or so):

Concentrate on the tip of your nose, and feel the breath going in and out.
To help your concentration, you can count every out-breath as one, and count from 1 to 10. When you arrived at 10, simply start at 1 again. All the attention is with the feeling of the nose and the counting, nothing more, nothing less.
Regularly check yourself if you are still concentrated, do not get angry when distracted, simply return to counting from 1.
Just before the end of the session, release the concentration on the counting and the tip of your nose, and simply be aware of how you feel.

Giving and taking; try to imagine the following:

- Visualise all sentient beings around you: enemies in front, friends behind you all sentient beings are in the form of human beings.
- First visualise that all their sufferings take the form of black clouds of smoke that surrounds them, and inhale this smoke.
- Direct the smoke to your heart where you visualise a black spot, representing your own egoistic self-cherishing mind.
- The destructive force of all the black smoke of suffering goes to this self-cherishing mind, completely destroying it

Take some time to do this.

- Now imagine exhaling bright white nectar and light towards all beings. This white nectar is your own potential for happiness which you give away.

Take some time for this part. When you are used to both practices, you may try the following:

- If possible combine both above practices of inhaling black smoke and exhaling light and nectar with every in- and out-breath. If this takes too much effort, simply return to either giving or taking.

Near the end of the session, let go of the thoughts of giving and taking, and take some time to sense how you feel now.

Next, try to make some sort of brief positive conclusion, like: "this meditation is too difficult, so I need to practice more", "this was really great, I should do this more often" or "I must work harder to control my selfish mind", something like that - but it must be your own conclusion.
Then try to concentrate very strongly on this conclusion, but without discussing it in your thoughts: just try to hold on to the feeling that the conclusion gives you and try to focus intensely on it for just one or two minutes.

Dedicate the positive energy of the session to whichever goal you like, use for example:

May all sentient beings have equanimity, free from attachment, aggression and prejudice.
May they be happy, and have the causes for happiness.
May they be free from suffering and causes for suffering.
May they never be separated from the happiness that is free from suffering. (3x)

and below prayers:

By this virtue may I soon
reach a Guru-Buddha-state,
and lead each and every being
to that state of Buddhahood.

May the precious Bodhicitta
not yet born, arise and grow
may that born have no decline
but increase forever more.

And any specific wishes that you may have.

Tonglen: Taking and Giving Meditation

by Joseph H. Rowe

Tonglen: in Tibetan, it means "give and take". Basically, you take in unhappiness, and you give out happiness.

This centuries-old meditatitive practice of compassion for self and others has a universality which for me is the secret heart and meeting-place of Buddhism and Christianity. I have been practicing it for several years, and much more intensely during the last year. In my life, it has had a profound effect on many levels --- so much so that I am at a loss for words to describe it, except to say that it seems to me to invoke the highest order of magic that there is.

Preliminary background teaching which is the foundation of the practice:

Your true, authentic being is absolutely pristine, flawless wisdom-mind, known as "Boddhichitta" to Buddhists and as the "Holy Spirit" to Christians. It is your eternal, ever-present Source, beyond the grasp of the personal mind, yet intimately informing it. Like the Sun, however hidden it may be by dense clouds of thought and emotion and sensation in your personal skies, it is always There, shining brilliantly and effortlessly. In the following exercises, it is referred to as your True Nature.

The Practice of Tonglen:

(1st phase: environmental Tonglen)

Sit or recline in a comfortable position. Let your awareness come to your breath. Gently focus on your breathing for several minutes, just observing the inbreath and outbreath like the tide. Now, note the feeling-tone of your environment, both physical and psychic. Note the negativity that is there. The pain, the fear, or the anger --- the suffering. This suffering may be very subtle, disguised by thoughts and habits, or it may be flagrantly, painfully present. Don't judge this negativity, just allow it to be felt and observed in all its aspects. Now, with each inbreath, breathe in this negativity. Let it be breathed like a polluted cloud into your deepest core: your True Nature. Then let the outbreath, which emanates from this True Nature, send out pure, luminous calm, happiness, wisdom, and well-being back into this troubled environment. Breathe in suffering and negativity; breathe out calm and luminous well-being. When you breathe in the negativity, it passes through your personal being on the way to the core, and its effect is to cleanse and purge your sense of being a separate, isolated, ego-being identified with a specific body. It cannot hurt this body (on the contrary, it often has cleansing effects on it), it only attacks and gently, subtly corrodes and starts to break up the stubborn sense of selfish separateness which is so deeply-rooted in us. Continue this until you feel a very distinct change in the environment.

[Commentary: this, like the subsequent phases, may at first startle or even dismay you. Most breathing/visualization exercises have you breathe in clean, fresh energy and breathe out stale, negative energy. There's nothing wrong with those exercises, and they have their place. But this one is exactly the opposite in form, and works on a much deeper level. Have faith in the praises of this beneficial exercise by scores of generations of great practitioners. After some time in this practice, you will begin to notice what many call the "ambrosia effect" of the outbreath. Strangely, the outbreath seems more nourishing than the inbreath at a deep and subtle level. Some people experience it as suffused with a golden light, or a white light. This outbreath is the key to healing through Tonglen. In this phase, you are _allowing_ the outbreath from your True Nature to pervade and heal the negativity in your inner and outer environment. You don't have to "accomplish" this. Just allow the luminous outbreath to do its gentle work.]

(2nd phase: self Tonglen)


Now, imagine yourself as dual: self A and self B. Self A is your ordinary, familiar, worrying, fantasizing, suffering, confused self, both body and mind. Self B is your true Self, which is at one with your True Nature. Let Self B breathe in all of Self A's personal negative emotions and confusion, and/or painful or distressed regions of the body, physical sensations, etc.; and then breathe out calm, well-being, happiness, and wordless wisdom. Continue this until you feel a very distinct change in your body/mind.

(3rd phase: Tonglen for others)


Now, think of someone you know who is in physical or mental distress.

Feel their distress as a black, oily, noxious cloud of negativity and pain.

Breathe this cloud of suffering deeply into your True Nature, and breathe back out to them all of your happiness, calm, wordless wisdom, and love. Again, this noxious cloud of suffering cannot harm you, it can only attack your deep-rooted sense of separateness, and the blockages and delusions which arise from that sense of separateness. In my own case, I have even felt that it was helping to clear up my clogged arteries, like a kind of radical cleansing agent. Breathe in your friend's suffering, and breathe out your profoundest happiness, which emanates from your True Nature. Continue this until you have a vivid sense of your friend receiving this love, and a vast calm and well-being in your "local" bodymind system.


(Ultimate phase: limitless Tonglen)
(optional for advanced practice only)

Now, if you feel so inclined, allow your friend's suffering (which is not separate from your own) to expand its borders, and include other beings' suffering. It could start with those close to them, but it doesn't have to stop there. The sky is the limit: ultimately it could include a whole community, the whole planet Earth, or even all beings everywhere.
Breathe in the suffering and pain, breathe out happiness and the peace that passeth understanding.


[ Overall commentary: phases 1 and 2 often come together as one exercise for me, but sometimes they are very distinct. I rarely if ever reach the ultimate phase! Often it's all I can do just to reach some sense of completion with phases 1 and/or 2. As for the visualization aspect: some people are much more visual than others, and see golden or white streams of light-energy streaming out to specific places in their own or another's body; but I am usually not this visual, and naturally stay with feeling-tones of peace, healing, etc. Each person finds their own way of doing this. Also, Tonglen is not really that different from prayer. In fact, you may want to think of it as a kind of prayer which uses breathing. The most important key feeling to keep in mind is that of the outbreath. If your mind wanders (as it surely will!), just gently bring it back to the
practice. Even if you completely forget the practice in a long fantasy or train of thought, just gently come back to it, and never indulge in self-aggressive criticisms for having "blown it". ]

The Heart-Practice of Tonglen

All-Embracing Compassion:

The Heart-Practice of Tonglen

As human beings, we have a very interesting habit of resisting what is unpleasant and seeking what is pleasurable. We resist, avoid, and deny suffering and we continually grasp at pleasure. If we observe our behavior, it is easy to see that we habitually resist and avoid people, situations, and feelings we consider to be painful, unpleasant, or uncomfortable, and we are naturally attracted to people, situations, and feelings we consider pleasant, comfortable, and gratifying. According to Buddhist teachings, this behavior is a symptom of fundamental ignorance and is influenced by the defilements of greed (attachment), hatred (aversion), and delusion (misperception of reality). To break the spell of this dualistic perception, to dissolve the barriers in our hearts that keep us feeling separate from others, and to cultivate a deep compassion for all living beings, including ourselves, we need to meet and embrace reality in a radically new way. To accomplish this, we can use the precious heart-practice of Tonglen.

Tonglen is a Tibetan word which means sending and taking. This practice originated in India and came to Tibet in the eleventh century. With the practice of Tonglen, we work directly with our habitual tendency to avoid suffering and attach ourselves to pleasure. Using this powerful and highly effective practice, we learn to embrace our life experiences with more openness, compassion, inclusiveness, and understanding, rather than denial, aversion, and resistance. When we encounter fear, pain, hurt, anger, jealousy, loneliness, or suffering, be it our own or others, we breathe in with the desire to completely embrace this experience; to feel it, accept it, and own it, free of any resistance.

In this way of practice, in this way of being, we transform our tendency to close down and shut out life's unpleasant experiences. In accordance with Buddha's First Noble Truth, we acknowledge, touch, and embrace our personal and collective suffering. We do not run away. We do not turn the other way. Touching and understanding suffering is the first step toward true transformation. Rather than avoiding suffering, we develop a more tolerant and compassionate relationship with it. We learn to meet and embrace reality—naked, open, and fearless.

Although the idea of developing a relationship with suffering may sound somewhat morbid, we must remember the teachings of the Second and Third Noble Truths as well: when we touch and embrace suffering, we can finally understand what causes it. When we understand the cause of suffering, we can eliminate it and be liberated. There is an end to suffering, however, we must learn how to meet it in a new way. Tonglen practice can help us accomplish this shift of awareness, this training of the mind.

A New Way to Embrace Our Life Experience

It is obvious that Tonglen practice is completely contrary to the ways in which we usually hold our personality (ego) together. Each of us have our defensive ego strategies for coping with the pain, hurt, disappointment, and suffering we encounter in life. We armor, protect, and separate ourselves from our inner and outer experiences in numerous ways that we are not even conscious of. In truth, Tonglen practice does indeed go against our habitual tendency of always wanting things to be pleasant, of wanting life on our own terms, of wanting everything to work out for ourselves no matter what happens to others. This practice dissolves and transforms the armor of our self-protection; the psychological strategies and defenses we create to keep ourselves separate from our own suffering and the suffering we encounter in the world. Tonglen practice gradually wears away our habitual grasping at a false sense of self (self-grasping/ego fixation/identification with the personality).

Tonglen effectively reverses our usual pattern of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure. In this process, we finally liberate ourselves from a very ancient prison of selfishness. With this radical shift of awareness, this new way of embracing our life experience, our heart becomes more tender, open, sensitive, and aware. We naturally feel more alive; more loving and caring, both for ourselves and others. By practicing Tonglen, we connect with a less defended and more open, spacious dimension of our being. The all-embracing compassion of our true nature begins to shine through and we are introduced to a far more intimate and grander view of reality. With this sublime heart of love, liberated from attachment, aversion, and indifference, we gradually recognize and feel the absolute interdependence and preciousness of all living beings. This is true intimacy with life. This is the cultivation of bodhicitta—the awakened heart of compassion and wisdom.

Hearing and Feeling the Cries of the World

Breathing in, we allow ourselves to feel the inevitable suffering that occurs in this life. Our heart's natural response to this suffering, while breathing out, is compassion. We breathe in the pain and suffering of this world like a dark cloud, letting it pass through our hearts. Rather than bracing ourselves against this pain and suffering, we can let it strengthen our sense of belonging and interdependence within the larger web of being. Avalokiteshvara (Chenrezig) is the Bodhisattva of Universal Compassion. His name means "One Who Hears the Cries of the World." Long ago he vowed not to return to nirvana until all living beings had been liberated from suffering. Avalokiteshvara listens to and feels the pain and suffering of the world. He breathes in, receiving the cries and anguish of the world and responds with the greatest care and compassion. In Buddhism, the traditional vow made by the Bodhisattva is to alleviate the suffering of all sentient beings.

The path of the Bodhisattva is to remember our belonging and connection with all of life. When we know in our hearts that we are connected to the insects, animals, trees, the earth, and every living being, we do not cause harm or suffering to any of these parts of ourselves. Rather, we become sensitive and attuned to the cries of the world, and we learn to respond with wisdom and deep compassion. We develop the wish to free all beings from their suffering and its causes; we desire, more than anything, to bring them happiness and peace. Indeed, the practice of Tonglen is an excellent way for us to train our heart and mind so we too can develop universal compassion and help alleviate the suffering of all living beings.

Suggestions for the Practice of Tonglen

Use what seems like poison as medicine. Use your
personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings.

In Tonglen practice, through our compassion, we take on (embrace without resistance) the various sufferings of all beings: their fear, hurt, frustration, pain, anger, guilt, bitterness, loneliness, doubt, rage, and so forth. In return, we give them our loving-kindness, happiness, peace of mind, well-being, healing, and fulfillment.

1) Sit quietly, calm the mind, and center yourself. Reflect on the immense suffering that all beings everywhere experience. Allow their suffering to open your heart and awaken your compassion. You may also choose to invoke the presence of all the Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, and enlightened beings, so that through their inspiration and blessing, compassion may be born in your heart. In this way, you are resting in bodhicitta—the enlightened nature of the mind. Bodhicitta, is an inexhaustible source of purity, generosity, and compassion.

2) Imagine in front of you, as clearly as possible, someone you care for who is suffering. Although this may be more challenging, you may also imagine someone you feel indifferent toward, someone you consider to be an enemy, or those who have hurt you or others. Open yourself to this person's suffering. Allow yourself to feel connected with him or her, aware of their difficulties, pain, and distress. Then, as you feel your heart opening in compassion toward the person, imagine that all of his or her suffering comes out and gathers itself into a mass of hot, black, grimy smoke.

3) Now, visualize breathing in this mass of black smoke, seeing it dissolve into the very core of your self-grasping (ego) at your heart center. There in your heart, it completely destroys all traces of fear and selfishness (self-cherishing) and purifies all of your negative karma.

4) Imagine, now that your fear, self-centeredness and negative karma has been completely destroyed, your enlightened heart (bodhicitta) is fully revealed. As you breathe out, imagine you are sending out the radiance of loving-kindness, compassion, peace, happiness, and well-being to this person. See this brilliant radiance purifying all of their negative karma. Send out any feelings that encourage healing, relaxation, and openness.

5) Continue this "giving and receiving" with each breath for as long as you wish. At the end of your practice, generate a firm inner conviction that this person has been freed of suffering and negative karma and is filled with peace, happiness and well-being. You may also wish to dedicate the merit and virtue of your practice to the benefit of all sentient beings.

Another Excellent Form of Tonglen

Clearly imagine a situation where you have acted badly, one about which you feel shameful or guilty, and which may be difficult to even think about. Then, as you breathe in, opening your heart, accept total responsibility for your actions in that particular situation. Do not judge or try to justify your behavior. Simply acknowledge exactly what you have done wrong and wholeheartedly ask for forgiveness. Now, as you breathe out, send the compassionate radiance of reconciliation, forgiveness, harmony, healing, and understanding. Breathe in the pain and the blame, and breathe out the undoing of harm. Breathe in taking full responsibility, breathe out the compassionate radiance of healing, forgiveness, and reconciliation. This exercise is especially powerful. It may give you the courage to go see the person(s) whom you have wronged and the strength and willingness to talk to them directly and actually ask for forgiveness from the depths of your heart.

Tonglen is a Practice and a Way of Life

Traditionally, we begin by doing Tonglen for someone we care about. However, we can use this practice at any time, either for ourselves or others. Tonglen can be done for those who are ill, those who are dying or have just died, or for those that are in pain of any kind. Tonglen can be done either as a formal meditation practice or right on the spot at any time. For example, if we encounter someone in pain, right on the spot we can begin to breathe in their pain and send out some relief. At any time, when we encounter our own emotional discomfort or suffering, or that of others, we open our heart and fully embrace what we are encountering on our in-breath. Breathing out, we offer the heartfelt radiance of acceptance, loving-kindness, and compassion. This is a practice and a way of life.

Practicing Tonglen on one friend in pain helps us begin the process of gradually widening the circle of our compassion. From there, we can learn to take on the suffering and purify the karma of all beings; giving others our happiness, well-being, joy, and peace of mind. Tonglen practice can extend indefinitely, and gradually, over time, our compassion will expand. We will find that we have a greater ability to be loving and present for ourselves and for others in even the most difficult situations. This is the wonderful goal of Tonglen practice, the path of the compassionate Bodhisattva.

THE PRACTICE OF TONGLEN

THE PRACTICE OF TONGLEN

By:


In order to have compassion for others, we have to have compassion for ourselves.

In particular, to care about other people who are fearful, angry, jealous, overpowered by addictions of all kinds, arrogant, proud, miserly, selfish, mean —you name it— to have compassion and to care for these people, means not to run from the pain of finding these things in ourselves. In fact, one's whole attitude toward pain can change. Instead of fending it off and hiding from it, one could open one's heart and allow oneself to feel that pain, feel it as something that will soften and purify us and make us far more loving and kind.

The tonglen practice is a method for connecting with suffering —ours and that which is all around us— everywhere we go. It is a method for overcoming fear of suffering and for dissolving the tightness of our heart. Primarily it is a method for awakening the compassion that is inherent in all of us, no matter how cruel or cold we might seem
to be.

We begin the practice by taking on the suffering of a person we know to be hurting and who we wish to help. For instance, if you know of a child who is being hurt, you breathe in the wish to take away all the pain and fear of that child. Then, as you breathe out, you send the child happiness, joy or whatever would relieve their pain. This is the core of the practice: breathing in other's pain so they can be well and have more space to relax and open, and breathing out, sending them relaxation or whatever you feel would bring them relief and happiness. However, we often cannot do this practice because we come face to face with our own fear, our own resistance, anger, or whatever our personal pain, our personal stuckness happens to be at that moment.

At that point you can change the focus and begin to do tonglen for what you are feeling and for millions of others just like you who at that very moment of time are feeling exactly the same stuckness and misery. Maybe you are able to name your pain. You recognize it clearly as terror or revulsion or anger or wanting to get revenge. So you breathe in for all the people who are caught with that same emotion and you send out relief or whatever opens up the space for yourself and all those countless others. Maybe you can't name what you're feeling. But you can feel it —a tightness in the stomach, a heavy darkness or whatever. Just contact what you are feeling and breathe in, take it in —for all of us and send out relief to all of us.

People often say that this practice goes against the grain of how we usually hold ourselves together. Truthfully, this practice does go against the grain of wanting things on our own terms, of wanting it to work out for ourselves no matter what happens to the others. The practice dissolves the armor of self-protection we've tried so hard to create around ourselves. In Buddhist language one would say that it dissolves the fixation and clinging of ego.

Tonglen reverses the usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure and, in the process, we become liberated from a very ancient prison of selfishness. We begin to feel love both for ourselves and others and also we begin to take care of ourselves and others. It awakens our compassion and it also introduces us to a far larger view of reality. It introduces us to the unlimited spaciousness that Buddhists call shunyata. By doing the practice, we begin to connect with the open dimension of our being. At first we experience this as things not being such a big deal or so solid as they seemed before.

Tonglen can be done for those who are ill, those who are dying or have just died, or for those that are in pain of any kind. It can be done either as a formal meditation practice or right on the spot at any time. For example, if you are out walking and you see someone in pain —right on the spot you can begin to breathe in their pain and send some out some relief. Or, more likely, you might see someone in pain and look away because it brings up your fear or anger; it brings up your resistance and confusion.

So on the spot you can do tonglen for all the people who are just like you, for everyone who wishes to be compassionate but instead is afraid, for everyone who wishes to be brave but instead is a coward.

Rather than beating yourself up, use your own stuckness as a stepping stone to understanding what people are up against all over the world.

Breathe in for all of us and breathe out for all of us.

Use what seems like poison as medicine. Use your personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings.

The paradox of kindness

ECGMA says: I know I have posted this before in one of my 10 active blogs but posting this again as a reminder of compassion in us all that 'be kind' is good but 'do kind' is better and encouraged.

The Power of Kindness

The year was 1863, on a spring day in Northern Pennsylvania. A poor boy was selling goods door to door to pay his way through school. He realized he had only a dime left, and that he was hungry. So he decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.

Instead of a meal, he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry and so she brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"
"You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness." He said, "Then I thank you from my heart." As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strengthened also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Years later, that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, he went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor's gown, he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day, he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested from the business office to pass the final billing to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge, and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words:

"PAID IN FULL WITH ONE GLASS OF MILK..."
(Signed)
Dr. Howard Kelly*
__________________________
*Dr. Howard Kelly was a distinguished physician who, in 1895, founded the Johns Hopkins Division of Gynecologic Oncology at Johns Hopkins University. According to Dr. Kelly's biographer, Audrey Davis, the doctor was on a walking trip through Northern Pennsylvania one spring day when he stopped by a farm house for a drink of water.
~~~~~~
This beautiful story about Dr. Howard Kelly is one of many true stories found in The Power of Kindness. I love the quote from Leo Buscaglia:
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

Quite frankly, this is the part about kindness that we all understand. But it's the other part that many of us fail to grasp.

That is...practicing random acts of kindness can change our lives! And that is what this book is all about.

The great English writer, Aldous Huxley, was a pioneer in the study techniques to develop human potential. In a lecture toward the end of his life, he said this:
"People often ask me...what is the most effective technique for transforming their lives?"
He then said, "It's a little embarrassing that after years and years of research, my best answer is - just be a little kinder."

This is the paradox of the power of kindness. It doesn't feel powerful at all. I n fact, it almost feels too simple to be important. But as Huxley said, it is the #1 thing that can transform your life.

Kindness, more than anything, is an attitude that brings us back to the simplicity of being. It is also the one way you can be assured of making a difference with your life.

All the Best,

Mac Anderson
Founder, Simple Truths

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